One of the hardest phases in recovery is when we start to understand why we do what we do with food…

We get it. We know what triggers a binge, or makes us want to restrict, but …

We keep doing it anyway.

So frustrating, right? At times like these it’s easy to assume that there’s something wrong with you. Or that you’ll never be able to be free from struggles with eating.

It helps to understand that insight alone is often not enough to change old patterns of behavior.

There are skills involved.

And while insight can happen quickly, even instantaneously, skills take time. And practice.

You may understand how a car works, but it’s only with a little bit of time behind the wheel that you are actually able to drive.

In the beginning you might have to remind yourself to put on your turn signal, to slow down when taking a curve, to look in your rearview mirror, etc. But after a while it becomes second nature.

This is how it is when there’s a gap between what you already know — and your ability to put that knowing into action. It does take some extra effort and time.

But eventually, you’ll get the hang of it. Checking in to find your hunger and fullness signals will become second nature. So will knowing how to respond to them.

But chastising yourself because you’re not there yet only makes it worse, and increases the desire to just give up.

You have to whisper encouraging words to yourself just the way you would if someone you cared about was learning something new for the very first time.

This is how you close the gap.